Who is this Bruce person anyway?

Bruce Evry, born 4,537,123,998 years ago on a small planet circling a minor yellow sun in a nearby galaxy. He is here on Earth doing some casual research on the behavior of primates and their relationship to the consumption of chocolate. Since these two things are only very dimly related Bruce is having very little luck with his research.

Currently he is in Disguise as one of the primates, so as to be able to study their odd behavior more closely. It also allows him to sneak into the grocery stores and buy chocolate for his own personal consumption which has little or nothing to do with his research grant. Fortunately tthe Galactic government is over 1,243 light years away and won't know about this for quite some time.

As part of his disguise, and in order to gather specimens of unusual and imaginative primates for his study, Bruce founded an organization called FanTek, which holds two large conventions a year at which large groups of primates come and eat even larger quantities of chocolate, thus forcing the price of chocolate ever higher on the Galactic Stock market, making Bruce a fortune as he owns 97 percent of the shares in Galactic Chocolate Unlimited, the Universe's largest purveyor of foods made from chocolate, things that look like chocolate, or things that would like to someday know someone who likes chocolate...

He also founded the FanTek BBS, which is a front for all of the major security and investigative agencies from all the known planets containing such silly things as security and investigative agencies. Needless to say, none of these agencies know that the others are on there, so smile and have a real nice day..... Wave to the secret cameras...

Bruce may be reached through email at bruce@fantek.org.