Getting to the FanTek House from Outer Space

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          1607 Thomas Road, Fort Washington, MD 20744
    United States of America, Earth, Sol, Orion Arm, Milky Way

1: Look on your Holomap for Sector M01001 Quadrant Zed Zed Alpha and
   program your navigational computer for "Local Cluster, Galaxy
   S4."
2: In Galaxy S4 (called "The Milky Way" by some locals), look for the
   western arm (The "Orion Arm") and mark navigational computer for
   Sol III.  Cut down speed to Hyperspeed and look for the pulsar
   decoy Archeological Buoy.
3: Enter in Code #112001010465 and type the password "hominid."  Make
   sure you are cloaked, or an embarassing Prime Interstellar Contact
   Violation will be on your record if you get caught.
4: Sol is a small yellow sun with 4 planets, 2 gas giants, 2 failed
   stars, and a rocky orbital Archeological Station posing as an
   irregular 9th planet.  Go to the 3rd planet from the sun called
   "Earth."  Turn on your radio wave filters now, if you haven't done
   so already.  Make sure you have a Broad Spectrum Refractor so the
   local inhabitants cannot see you on their detection devices.
5: On the northern continent (shaped a lot like the Ulou Government
   Financial Building orbiting Tekstra IV), look for a Megopolis
   with a pentagon near the center.  Land inside the pentagon, and
   meet our contact there by saying the code phrase "I need to park
   in Hangar 54."
6: Our contact with give you currency replicants and identifictaion,
   upon which you will buy a vehicle from a primitive building called
   "Bob Ourisman's Dodge and Daihatsu."  Purchase the vehicle with the
   currency, and drive on a gravity road called "I-95" towards an
   industrial plant called "Baltimore."
7: From I-95, cross a bridge, and take EXIT 2 to a road called
   INDIAN HEAD HIGHWAY SOUTH.
8: Go 3 miles, and then turn LEFT at the stoplight onto OLD FORT ROAD
   (there will be a Giant Food Store on your right).
9: Go 2 miles on Old Fort Rd, and then turn RIGHT onto THOMAS ROAD
   (there is a short green fence there) almost all the way to the end.
A: Behind a large wall of trees and a little black mailbox is a gravel
   driveway.  This is our house, #1607.  Go up the driveway and park.
B: Knock on the small door and come in (don't knock and wait, since we
   have no doorman, and all you'll get is a loud chorus of voices
   that yell "COME IN!!!")
C: Introduce yourself, meet people, and have fun!